Monthly Archives: December 2014

Peace (Part 1) – Stillness, Clarity and Asking for What You Want

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“Be Still and know that I am God. ” – The Bible

Peace.

Been thinking a lot about peace lately… even before the current uprisings against police brutality.

Peace…

You see, I have been struggling. You might know me for my positivity, exuberance and zest for life. I still am those things. But, lately, I have been struggling with a growing inner turmoil. I am committed to authenticity and vulnerability so this post has been a difficult one to write and I have been putting it off for weeks.

“Peace – freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. freedom from or the cessation of war or violence.” -Merriam Webster Dictionary

2014 brought a lot of changes to my life. I started this blog… purely out of necessity. I needed to see what my life would look like if I committed to my ideals and lived them. Out of that quest came a path I never saw coming.

Still a full time stay at home mom, I began writing, trained as a coach, trained as a Daring way Facilitator, traveled to conferences, found my tribe over and over again, took several e-courses, connected with mentors I followed from afar, started my business and crossed off the top item on my bucket list.

I went through all that training convinced that I was to coach and facilitate physicians experiencing compassion fatigue and burnout – I wanted to be the support I wished I had during residency. Or at least serve third culture professionals who want to live their ideals.

But something happened during my travels. I found myself connecting with people like never before, getting attention just for being myself… It was wonderful and affirming. But it was also confusing. And disorienting.

I had gotten used to hiding in plain sight. Obviously, I am on the edge of a major shift. This would mean having to implement many changes in my life.

I continued preparing to serve physicians – I began an intense schedule of physician quality of life interviewing. But I was still a stay at home mom of 2 and began to have a growing sense of overwhelm at the size of the mission ahead of me. And not even sure whether I knew whom I wanted to serve anymore. It seemed like my mission was evolving and I didn’t know what to do.  Never one to compare myself with others, I began to feel inadequate.

I was in a different world now – one full of entrepreneurs, world-changers and influencers. Everyone seemed to have their acts together- People launching a product everywhere I looked. I was getting a lot of attention but I didn’t feel ready and wasn’t making an effort to get the attention. I didn’t have a product, or some angle to sell. Wasn’t even sure what half of the lingo was. Here I was, having spent most of my life in the ivory tower, completely out of my depth in a world where everyone seemed street smart. … It was stressful and scary. Ever the academic, I found myself buying whatever course I could to educate myself.

Overstimulated.  Financially Distressed.  Growing Pains.

I began to crave stillness.

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” – Dalai Lama

I meditate regularly. It is part of my morning routine, set in place to help me manage my attention. I don’t follow any dogma – I just sit, pay attention and listen.  I am a big fan of the Bible verse “Be still and know that I am God.” Cultivating stillness helps me focus on what is really important. I liken it to waiting for muddy waters to settle.

When chaos ramps up in my life, I intensify my stillness practice. So, instead of 30 minutes of meditation, I sit for 45 minutes, or even 60. No, I am not some super-spiritual holy roller. I definitely don’t have all the answers, I only share my experiences and what helps me.

Being still helps me remember that it is not about me. I can’t control everything. I don’t make the universe tick. In the middle of the chaos, I can choose to reconnect to the Source. Being still helps me remember that God is God.

And God is working in my favor.

“God can not give us happiness and peace apart from  Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing. ” – C.S.Lewis

And Stillness begets clarity.

And I have been struggling with clarity.

I have gone through some huge paradigm shifts in a very short period. It is easy to get anxious and panic – confused about what to do. But what’s the point of fretting when I can get still?

So, getting still helps me get clear about what I really want. Not what others expect of me, but what I truly, deeply, wholeheartedly want…

Letting all the mud settle produces clear water can now be used to feed, clean…

In other words, it is difficult to be useful and intentional if you are muddied up internally. Getting still ushers in a clarity of purpose, an ability to be useful.

And with that clarity, when you know what you want, you can ask God for it.

That was the source of my chaos. I was no longer sure of what I wanted. And, this work has become bigger than I could have ever dreamed, so I need help. I need a team. I need resources. I need financial support. And I state my needs, not from a place of scarcity but from a place of abundance – knowing that whatever I need for this mission has already been provided. I only have to work where I am and keep my eyes (and heart) open for the provision.

The cool thing is that when you ask for what you want, you can hear the response  more clearly during stillness.

And when you know, when you truly understand that you can ask for whatever you want, you have peace. Why? Because you know that what ever you ask for, if you truly believe, you will receive it. Maybe not when you want it, but right on time.

That is peace.

So, I don’t know what the future holds for me. But I do know Who holds me and I intend to stay plugged in. I am desperate for miracles. But even more important is my desperation for God’s presence. I need it. I crave it. Without it, I am nothing but a chaotic mess.

“God can not give us happiness and peace apart from  Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing. ” – C.S.Lewis

Peace is a fruit of the Holy Spirit – a sure sign you are plugged in to the Divine.

The coolest part of all this? What you focus on grows. The more you cultivate peace, the more peace you have…

So what are you waiting for?

Be still.

Cultivating Peace:

1. Do you have a stillness practice? How often? For how long?

2. In what areas of your life do you need clarity?

3. What is your soul craving right now?

4. Are you able to ask for what you want?

5. In what ways can you make room for a meditation or stillness practice?

6. In what ways can you reach out for support or accountability?

7. What step can you take right now to cultivate peace in your life?

 

It’s in your hands. You can choose peace. And the rewards are exponential – ripples spreading through the world, both inner and outer worlds. It begins by choosing stillness. May you have the clarity you desire and the courage to ask for what you want! See you next time.

Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way (every Monday and Thursday), she hopes to serve and inspire a tribe of wholehearted warriors like you, to “live your ideals, live your calling and change the world.”

 

 

Faith (Part 3) – Keeping the Faith when Others Believe Differently

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“The great lesson is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life, in one’s neighbors, friends, and family, in one’s backyard.” – Abraham Maslow

I attract different kinds of people.

This is my path. And it is reciprocal. I am attracted to a wide variety of people. Because I have lived in three different continents and moved around most of my life, I have always been with people who looked, believed or lived differently from me.

I love it.

I loved learning about different religions in elementary school and college. My first friends were two Indian girls. I studied Islam and indigeneous african religions in primary school. Then studied Hinduism, Buddhism and other world religions in college.  During medical school, I was really into yoga, visiting ashrams, learning about Yogananda and other gurus.

But I am a Christian and Christianity is where I feel most connected to God. So through all my explorations, I kept returning to it. It is home for me.

I have friends who are atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, Muslims, Mennonites, Jewish, fundamentalists, seekers, new age, mystics and evangelicals.    In the media, Christians are portrayed as right-wing bigots who hate everyone and watch Fox TV.

Being more on the left side of things on many issues can be very challenging as a Christian. On the Christian Front, you are considered not Christian enough and to the non-believers you are considered a bigot.

So what’s a woman of faith to do?

For some reason, I have been gifted with the ability to relate to people of diverse backgrounds, religions, lifestyles and thought. I enjoy being around people who are different from me.

But sometimes, I find myself having to explain why I believe what I do, facing heat and derision from both sides.

I am learning that every person crosses my path for a reason. And every encounter is sacred, whether blissful or painful, because I can inject gratitude and presence into that encounter.

For the longest time, I struggled with rejection and shame when attacked for my beliefs.  I would cower and hide when made to feel I wasn’t Christian enough. Or I would pretend not to be a Christian among those who believed differently.

Here’s the thing – Faith without action is useless. You can tout your faith all you want but your actions have to back up your faith. You actions reflect what you truly believe.

So now, I focus on the most important thing – Love. I choose to love. I choose to affirm others, regardless of belief systems. It is not up to me to judge others. It is up to me to love.

As a Jesus Devotee (well, some call me a Jesus nerd), I am called to follow, to live the life I have been called to. My favorite thing about Jesus is that He loved people on the fringe… the unpopular, the outcast, the foreigner, the lonely, the prostitute, the tax collector… He loved and accepted people as they were. And they were transformed by their experiences with Him.

This is the Jesus I love. The One who cares about widows, orphans, the poor… The One who gets to the heart of the matter instead of beating around the bush. The Master Physician  who healed the sick and raised the dead…  The One mistaken for a drunk and a glutton…

So, yes, I risk being outcast on both sides for my faith… the fundamentalist conservatives who see no place for eclectic, alternative, progressive yet passionate Christians like me or the non-Christians who view me with suspicion and expect me to be bigoted.

I choose Love. I choose gratitude. I remember my ideals (values),  consider each personal encounter a sacred gift, look for God in each one and even see how I can be of service. In some cases I learn the lesson, dust my shoulder and move on. In others, I end up with life-changing and sometimes life-long relationships.

In light of recent protests over police brutality in Ferguson and Staten Island, I intend to practice the same. I admit it has been frustrating and heartbreaking. But I will not give in to hate, cynicism and destruction.

Still I choose love. I choose gratitude. I look for God – yes, even in this, remember my ideals and look for ways I can be of service.

When all else fails, I will remember that it is not up to me to convince others of what I believe. I will do my best and leave the rest.

Here’s to keeping the faith!

Cultivating Faith:

1. What do you do when faced with attacks on your faith?

2. How do you treat others who believe differently from you?

3. In what ways can you choose love and gratitude in conflict?

4. What do you think about the encounters you have with others? Do you consider them sacred?

5. In what ways can you choose to be of service to those who believe differently?

6. How has the recent political climate affected how you express your faith?

7. In what ways can you be supportive of others in keeping the faith?

Our relationships, every single one can be sacred, if we remember to look for the light in them. Expressing love and gratitude, looking for the Divine, aligning with your ideals and looking for ways to serve will help you keep the faith. Carry on! See you next time!

Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way (every Monday and Thursday), she hopes to serve and inspire a tribe of wholehearted warriors like you, to “live your ideals, live your calling and change the world.”