Sensitivity – The strength of emotional or physical reaction in people. (Wiki)

“The world is a devastating place. You must learn to protect your emotions to prevent matters both in law and love, from devastating you.” – Lord Mansfield from the Movie “Belle” (2013)

Sensitivity.

A beautiful and charged word. For the longest time comments were thrown at me, judging me fro being sensitive… The words were harsh, well-intended but painful… Some meant to protect me. They saw an emotionally sensitive person who needed to armor up to protect from the harsh realities of life.

“Oh, you are too sensitive!” “Why do you have to cry right now? Can’t you master your emotions?”
“Tone down your voice.” “Why do you care so much? Do you have to feel everything?”
“You are such a bleeding heart liberal.”

And my all-time favorite – “You care too much to be a surgeon.”
I have tried to stifle the sensitivity. I numbed it out. Tried to pretend I didn’t care.

But I did care.

I believe that sensitive people are the sensors, the alarms, the sirens of the world.

Sensitive people are specially designed to alert the community to danger and can avert crises…even save lives! They can pick up on subtle cues before others have a clue.

But sometimes, due to the harshness of the environments in which they find themselves, they might become reactive instead of responsive, dysfunctional instead of functional.

Think of the smoke alarm. It saves lives by alerting the occupant that something in the house is burning. If the occupant trusts the smoke alarm, he will go search the culprit and put it out. If the smoke alarm is always going off, then after a while it gets ignored or turned off. Or the presence of louder sounds will drown out the alarm.

But the smoke alarm has its purpose. So do sensitive people.

Emotional stability is a misnomer. You don’t want to be emotionally stable… Balanced and passive. You want to be emotionally responsive
There is a reason why sensitive people are more effective at communicating. That sensitivity indicates vulnerability which takes a high level of honesty, authenticity and courage.

So, how do you embrace your sensitivity?

1. Respond, don’t react: When in distressing situations, take a deep breath before responding. Reacting will not help the situation. The difference between reacting and responding is the amount of time between the stimulus and source of theresponse. Reacting is instantaneous and comes from a place of fear. If you take a deep breath and pay attention to your body, then you are morely to respond from a place of love, worthiness and truth.

2. Spend time alone: Get away from the noise. Highly sensitive instruments have to be calibrated and kept at certain temperatures and conditions, and well maintained. Your car alarm have to be calibrated to be trusted to read conditions accurately. So do you. Get some rest. Meditate. Spend some time in nature. Exercise. Pray. Stay out of overly stimulating environments which are more likely to make you more reactive than responsive. For me, I need to journal on a daily basis, meditate, decompress, pray and exercise.

3. Pay attention: Listen to your gut. Listen to your intuition. Listen to the still small voice. God whispers all the time. You can’t hear until you pay attention. But first you’d have to get away to a quiet place. (see #2 above).

4. Don’t take things personally: People are flawed. They will hurt you. Some intentionally, others not. It is not about you. It is about whatever is going on in their heads and in their lives. Don’t let the actions of others keep you from exercising the wonderful gift sensitivity.

5. Use your gift: What’s the use of a car alarm, an oil sensor or a smoke alarm if you never use it? You could die. Not listening to the car alarm could result in a car crash. Not using the smoke alarm could result in a house burning to the ground. You are sensitive for a purpose. Use it.

6. Be around people who understand and appreciate your gift: Don’t toss your pearls before swine. If people are constantly berating your sensitivity, get away. You are sensitive and all of that judgment cuts really deeply and makes you less likely listen to your gut or to use your sensitivity accurately. If the other people are insensitive, it means they don’t sense what you sense. Sometimes, the smoke sensor goes off way before you smell the smoke. If you are sensing something, stay with it, and be alert.

Because I had always been berated for being sensitive, I stopped listening to my gut and lost my way. Embracing my sensitivity has given me a new zest for life. I can be fully present, practice my spirituality, enjoy my gifts and serve others.

What about you?

Practicing Sensitivity:
1. In what ways are you a sensitive person?
2. In what ways have you stifled your sensitivity?
3. How have you embraced your sensitivity?
4. What effect does your current environment have on your sensitivity? Are you free to express it? Are you encouraged or shamed for expressing your sensitivity?
5. Can you recall a situation in which your sensitivity has saved you or others?
6. What small step can you take towards practicing your sensitivity more deeply?
7. What would fully embracing your sensitivity look like for you?

We cannot afford to walk around with hearts covered in saran wrap, shielding us from pain and from feeling too much. We can set boundaries. Within those boundaries, we can love and express that love wholeheartedly. The world would be a terrible place if we shielded our hearts from everything. Let’s express our sensitivity from a place of worthiness, courage and truth. See you next week!

Yvonne Whitelaw writes for Yvonnewhitelaw.com where she blogs about her quest to grow into her ideals in her “Live Your Ideals Project”. By sharing her lessons along the way (every Monday and Thursday), she hopes you will be inspired to live your ideals and ultimately live your calling.